Kinda, Sorta, Really Stupid
by LittleMissAfflicted
Summary: Because love can be blind, but according to Luffy, Nami's too stupid to see that. Maybe he's right. Post Time-skip. Lu/Na. Lemon.


**Disclaimer:** Oda-sensei, if I beg hard enough, will you let Luffy and Nami have pirate babies? Didn't think so... (further proof that I don't own them).

**Warning:** Pirate-sex! It's a pretty long lemon, too. OAO;

**AN: **This one goes out to my best friend, beacuse it was her threatening me to get this done (I kid, of course). That little line about the bread is hers, haha. If Luffy is bread, fetch me the knife and butter, I say... But who can blame her? It's Luffy and Nami. All love with no thinking required. =)

* * *

"It's long."

Luffy was lounging on Nami's bed, stomach pressed against the mattress and arms and legs dangling over the sides without grace, as the navigator busied herself scribbling and scratching away at a piece of parchment. A new map she was attempting to finish.

"Really long."

Her first thought was that she should ignore him. She should ignore the fact that the entire crew had left from the Sunny to go and gather some last minute necessities. She should ignore the fact that they'd left her with Luffy. Ignore that he was resting on her bed as if he'd been welcomed to do so. And that he was distracting her with his random outbursts of thought.

She _should_ ignore it, she thought.

"Really, really long."

Should, but _couldn't_.

"Luffy," Nami growled, smoothing her half-finished map against the wood of her desk, "what the hell are you going on about? I'm trying to finish a map, in case you couldn't tell."

"Oh." Luffy looked up from the amusement he seemed to be enjoying- twirling a loose thread of Nami's pale pink bed sheet around his finger.

"Are you going to tell me what you're muttering about over there? Because if not, I'd like to finish this. Quietly." Nami was looking at the rubber boy with a hand on her hip and a seriousness that made her eyes shine. A shine that could easily become an injury; Luffy himself knew it from experience.

"I was talking about your hair. It got longer."

Nami's face twitched. "Please tell me you did not _just_ notice that, Luffy."

"No, I noticed. It's just that it's longer than I thought. That's all."

"Right. I'm going to work on this map. And you're going to let me do it in peace, otherwise, you'll be out on the deck by yourself 'till everyone gets back. Got that?"

Luffy nodded the affirmative, picking up where he had left off with his new found friend, Mr. Loose-Thread. There was a small creak as Nami moved the chair of her desk to occupy it again, the scratching of ink on parchment beginning anew.

"It's pretty."

The scratching ceased.

"Luffy. Didn't I just talk to you, what, two minutes ago?"

"Sorry," Luffy plucked at the little stray piece of fibers, "but it's wavy, too. Looks pretty."

"Thanks," Nami began again, keeping her face on her work. Her cheeks were just a little hot, and she didn't want to expose their sudden flush, "now if you would only shut up and let me make this map pretty, too. Geez."

There was a little groan on Luffy's part, and he shifted on the bed so that he was sitting up.

"Can I touch it?"

"_What_. Touch _what_?"

"Your hair," Luffy said, cocking his head to the side at his navigator as she whipped her head around to face him.

Nami got up from her workspace once more, looming above Luffy with a look that, if the girl had Haki of her own, would have left him for dead.

"Listen you," she said between grit teeth, "if I let you touch my hair, will it shut you up? Will you let me finish my map _then_?"

Furrowed brows. A blink. And then that stupid grin that was purely Luffy.

"Yeah, okay!"

"Idiot." Nami sat down on the edge of the bed, her back to her captain, before she spun around suddenly, "HOLD IT." She took hold of his two hands and brought them to eye level, inspecting every fingernail, and then his palms. Luffy had put hands on a variety of disturbing things in his lifetime- an octopus he'd kept in his pants, countless animals, and even his own snot! She wasn't about to let two year's worth of hair growth go down the drain!

Once she'd determined that they were clean, she let them go and turned back around.

"Hurry up and touch it, so I can get back to my map."

Luffy made a happy sound as he reached out to twine his fingers in the bright, orange-hued tresses.

"Ooh," he marveled as he raked his fingers through the ends, "it's so soft!" He brought both hands up to the top of Nami's head, the tips of his fingers caressing against her scalp.

"You done yet up there?"

"Nope. A little longer! I didn't know your hair was so cool, Nami. Do all girls have hair like this?" He swirled little circles on the spot behind her ears.

Nami bit back a sudden groan. The feel of Luffy's hands on that tender spot had felt surprisingly good. "Do all guys have hair like yours?"

"Um… guess not."

"Well all right then."

"Oh well. That sucks. I like your hair." Luffy declared, his fingers continuing their exploration of the silky locks. He brought them up to the top of Nami's head again, letting his nails run along her scalp softly, and Nami made a little noise.

A moan. Nami had moaned, and then proceeded to give herself a severe mental kick to the head.

Luffy's voice was full of his smile, "Feels good right? It used to make me fall asleep when I was really little."

Sleep? That wasn't what Nami was considering as blunt nails slid along the bottom of her head, close to her neck. Luffy then decided to splay his fingers and begin moving both hands in a circle. Each smaller circle that his nails drew made pleasure spark along Nami's spine. Her chocolate brown eyes became half lidded, her back arching from the feel of it.

"Mmm," Nami bit her lower lip and pressed her head back against the sweet pressure of the fingers that were buried in her hair. She wanted the massaging hands to press just a bit harder, and her attempt to shift back resulted in her body pressing flush-up against the boy whose touch was sweet beyond comprehension.

A hundred different things cut into Nami's senses all at once:

The fabric of Luffy's shirt, which felt so soft against the bare skin of her back...

The scent of Luffy's neck, which he had allowed her head to loll onto, _good_- like sea and warmth and something alluringly musky…

The thumbs descending just below her ears and running wicked little circuits there…

The little gasps and hums of approval that she couldn't contain…

The solid firmness pressed against her backside…

Firmness… against her…

WHAT?

He couldn't possibly be… This was Luffy! The moron with the sexual appetite of a piece of bread! And yet…

Luffy was nuzzling his nose against her tresses, sighing, "Smells good, too." His hips shifted a little, just a little, enough to prove Nami wrong.

"Uh, Luffy?" She felt a blush blossom across her cheeks. He stopped his touches to lean forward, and Nami's body went rigid. His face was right beside hers, dark eyes boring into her own, straw hat ghosting against the top of her head.

"Yeah?"

"You… I mean, you're… it's…"

She pushed back against him and felt the firmness there twitch and become a little harder, and she squeaked.

"Oh, that." Luffy chuckled. It sounded husky, more appealing than it should have, "It's not like I can control that, you know. Sorry."

"S-Sorry? You mean you're just gonna keep touching my hair?"

"Well, yeah. I already told you, I like your hair, Nami."

So he was going to sit there. Sit there and pet her head… while hard as the proverbial rock? Had Luffy become more of a gentleman, or was it still supreme ignorance on his part?

"Luffy." Nami untangled herself from his fingers' snare and turned to face him. Her eyes quickly flit over his form and bright red washed over her face. Oh yeah. The proof of his excitement was definitely there, although nothing else about him served as indication. He was looking at her with the expression of a puppy whose favorite toy had been taken away.

"What's wrong?" He asked her, placing his palms flat on the bed in such a way that his little 'problem' was safely out of sight.

Nami just looked at him and then, despite her embarrassment, coughed and asked "What were you thinking about, to make… to make that happen?"

He smiled. "Well, mostly you, since it was you sitting on me."

"M-Me?"

A quick nod, "Yep! You smell real sweet, and those noises you were making sounded nice, and then when you moved, you moved back onto me, so… yeah, I was thinking about all that. It goes away on its own all the time though!"

She spoke to him with averted chocolate-brown eyes. "Has… has the thought of another woman ever made you do that?"

"I've never thought about anybody else," he scratched the back of his neck, then laughed. "Maybe they're _all_ your fault Nami! Hey… uh, are you okay? Your face is redder than rare Sea King meat, and that can't be right…"

Nami's face was certainly a startling shade, akin to the red glow of someone with a high fever. She didn't move or say a word, but her eyes had gone wide and rounder than a berry coin.

"So." She ducked her head and Luffy could only see her lips moving , the rest of her face obscured behind her bangs, "Come here, Luffy?"

"Eh?" He scooted closer, trying to bend himself sideways to get a better look at her. "Namiiii?"

She looked up at him and her expression was hard, focused, as she asked him, "Could I kiss you?"

"Kiss me? What for?"

"Dammit Luffy! Can I or can't I?"

"Sure, okay."

So she clenched her eyes shut and puckered her lips the tiniest bit, and pressed them right to his mouth. The kiss wasn't anything special. Just warmth and really soft skin, and the same red on her face splashing over Luffy's when she opened her eyes to look at him. She pulled away slowly and stared at him. Waiting.

"Do that again," he ordered in a low voice that sent a shiver over Nami's body, and she nodded, feeling his hands cup her face and bring their lips together again.

There was an edge to it now, an eagerness that was making her hands anchor themselves to her bed sheets. She had no idea what else to do with them until his hands left her face and took hold of hers, releasing their hold on the thin fabric and lacing them together behind his neck. Her grip was just as tight as she held onto him, lips still moving, a whimper gurgling in her throat when Luffy's tongue poked against her mouth.

Nami's mouth opened hesitantly, but it was enough for Luffy to snake his tongue inside and run it along everything it could reach. The slickness of her white teeth, the tender feel of her gums, and the wet flick of her own shy tongue made him groan.

His large hands spread against her back and held her close, tongues twining all the while, and she gasped in surprise when he pushed her over and onto the bed.

There was a gentle tug on the center of her back, at the bow of string that kept the bottom of her bikini top in place.

"So can I? It's not like I haven't seen 'em before anyway." Luffy chuckled against her shoulder.

"And you owe me millions for every look you got," she challenged.

"Is that a yes?" He pressed his pout against her skin.

"Depends on whether or not you plan on paying up." Nami crossed her arms in front of her breasts, teasing the boy atop her.

"That's Nami for 'yes', isn't it." Luffy grinned, but it wasn't a question. He sat on his knees as he reached behind her and began to undo the bow, and Nami made a high pitched sound of surprise.

"Huh?" Luffy paused to look at her face with a quizzical expression.

Nami was biting her lower lip, refusing to look him in the eyes, "I can feel it… pressing against my stomach…" Her voice was nervous, her gaze refusing to meet any part of him. Especially the part that was nudging her midsection so insistently.

Luffy laughed as he let go of the now loosened strings of the top, one hand resting on her neck while the other toyed with her hair again. He really couldn't seem to get enough of messing with it…

"You're really shy, Nami," he teased while flashing her his most brilliant smile, "it's pretty cute."

The comment made her sit up immediately, not caring that she was pressing the boy's ache even closer to her body "I'm NOT shy! It's just that-Hey! What are you-?"

"Gotcha!" Luffy was snickering madly as he took the opportunity to reach behind the navigator's neck and untie the topmost string. The top slid off of her body and onto the sheets, and Nami sat there, nearly naked, glaring at her ogling captain.

"Aren't you gonna say it?"

"Say _what_." Nami grumbled, resisting the urge to conceal herself behind her arms. She'd showed off her assests plenty of times, hadn't she? It was no big deal! Right?

"You know! 'Happiness Punch'!"

"It's not a 'Happiness Punch' unless I'm the one who chooses to flash you, moron."

"Oohh." Luffy nodded, though the concept went right over his head, "Sure. Wow, they got even _bigger_, Nami."

"It's not like I was planning on it."

"I like 'em." Luffy said simply, tone a little less lighthearted as he reached out to cup them in his hands. "They're so _soft_. Kinda squishy, too."

"Well if you ever find a breast that isn't soft, feel free to worry about what you're touching."

Luffy looked at Nami like she'd grown a second head, "Who else do you think I'm gonna be touching?"

Nami thought about it for a moment.

"I don't know…"

"Nami. You're really cute, but you're really stupid, too."

"I'M stupid?"

"Yep." The boy was beginning to rub his palms against her breasts as he pressed his forehead to hers. For a few seconds, she found herself hoping that the straw of Luffy's hat wouldn't get tangled in her hair. The thought was discarded, however, when she felt her nipples being tugged.

"Mmm, what is it?" It was more of a moan than she'd wanted it to be.

"I don't _want_ to touch anyone else, 'kay?" Luffy smiled again, before leaning in just that bit more to kiss her.

Oh. He doesn't want to touch anyone else…?

She suddenly understood everything.

Nami nipped at Luffy's tongue, giggling at the realization that'd hit her.

"What's so funny Nami?"

"You, you dope. You don't know how to say anything right…"

"Huh?"

"You don't want to touch anyone else, right?" She pressed her breasts into his hands, sighing when he squeezed.

"Nope."

"And no one else makes you feel like this, right?"

"Nuh-uh."

"I see… That's good enough, since it's _you_ we're talking about."

"I don't get it."

"You never do. But it's okay," she very daringly placed her hand between his legs, on the apex of his thighs, and rubbed, "I've left you waiting long enough, right?"

Luffy panted into her ear, the feel of another hand on him very foreign, but very, very good. "…Yeah."

* * *

"Luffy… easy. My skin isn't made of rubber, you- ooh!"

Nami's back arched, pressing her heaving bosom into a very eager mouth. Luffy was suckling at her with fervor, tongue and teeth hard at work on the sensitive mounds. Her skin was amazing, milky and smooth and really nice to touch, he kept thinking.

Meanwhile, Nami was trying to control her shivering body, her face hot and still somewhat abashed as she watched Luffy look at her endearingly before he gave his wet work of art a chaste kiss.

"Mn?" Luffy let her fall from his mouth when he felt a tug on his beloved straw hat.

"Don't you think you should take it off? I don't want it to get ruined." The girl beneath him was smiling and trying to calm her heavy breaths. Nami didn't want him to ruin his hat…

It made him chuckle, and his heart thrill in a way he didn't understand yet. He kissed her, out of gratitude, and simply because he could.

"Okay." He took his hat in one hand and let his arm extend over to Nami's desk, placing it right beside her map.

"That's pretty handy, isn't it." Nami laughed as the appendage snapped back into place.

"Yup!"

Luffy disregarded the interruption in much the same way that he disregarded nearly everything else. He was pressing his mouth all over her again, making her laughter melt into moans. That heated valley of skin between her breasts… the tightly drawn flesh of her stomach… he grinned as he tongued even her belly button, the squeal he received in return a sound more adorable than any he'd ever heard Nami make before.

When the captain reached the hem of her pants, he ran his tongue along that, too, watching Nami's body quiver.

"Can I take them off?"

Nami panted before smirking, "Take your shirt off, first, and then I might think about it."

He chuckled and did so, frowning when he saw his navigator's brows furrow. Like she was worried.

"That scar, Luffy," she whispered, running her hand over the large 'X' of marred skin, "it's huge… What happened to you?"

"Oh, that? I was gonna tell the whole crew about it, since they were asking."

"It doesn't hurt?"

"Not anymore."

"Alright." Nami pressed a kiss to the center of the scar and let her fingers wisp away from it. Scar aside, Luffy's body was just the same as ever- a thin frame of wiry muscle- and observing it in this way was making a Nami's stomach tie into a knot. But a good knot, she decided, as she skimmed her hands over every muscle on the boy's abdomen.

"That sort of tickles." Luffy's voice was somewhat strained as he looked up from underneath his messy black hair.

"Sorry. You… wanted me to take these off though, right?" She undid the zipper and buttons of her pants, blushing all the while.

"No." Luffy's hand tugged hers away. "I wanted me to take those off, not you."

"Same difference!" She exclaimed despite her shock with his forwardness.

"Well, if you're going to do it, then come on." She lay herself back down, hands at her sides.

Luffy didn't need to be told again, and he took hold of the pants and slid them down her thighs and calves- as nice as the rest of her, he noted- and unhooked them from her feet. They were tossed to the floor unceremoniously, which Nami figured she could ignore. She'd just whack him later if he didn't clean up his mess. Their mess. Whatever.

He chuckled at her underwear.

They were white and skimpy, and covered in tiny tangerines!

"What the heck are you laughing at?" She huffed, her wiggling toes voicing her discomfort.

"Nothin'. You _really_ like tangerines, if you're wearing them there."

"I'm a girl, Luffy. If I want tangerines on my panties, I'm more than welcome to have them. Who knows what you have all over _your_ boxers."

"Eh… what boxers?"

"You… don't wear boxers…"

"Not unless it's really cold out! They're pretty useless if you ask me!"

"So right now," Nami gulped, "you aren't wearing any beneath those pants…?"

"Nope! Nami!" Luffy laughed at her, "your face is really red again!"

"Well someone has to feel shame for you, you clueless idiot! Hey, what-?"

"Do tangerines taste good?" Luffy had a hand on each of her hip bones.

Nami blinked. "Well yeah, of course they do. You've never eaten one?"

"Every time I tried to grab one out of your tree, Sanji tried to kill me. Besides, I like meat better than fruits!"

"Well if you want to know so badly," Nami became aware of thumbs rubbing circles onto her hips, "find some to taste that _aren't_ on my tree."

"Hmmm… okay!"

And the boy bent down with an enlightened grin, the heat of his mouth back on her body.

_There_.

In that spot that Nami had never allowed anyone to _touch_, much less _lick_.

"It's wet," he crooned, and then lapped his tongue against her. She could feel the tip squirm against her outer lips, between the folds of what was every woman's most sacred treasure, and almost screamed when it rubbed against a tiny nub of nerves.

"L-Luffy!"

Her captain continued to soak the fabric of her underwear, both with his attention and her reaction to it. She could feel her entire body getting hot, desperate, and that spot being suckled become amazingly moist.

"Luffy! Just- ah!- just take them off!"

She felt her order being carried out, and shuddered while she watched Luffy stare at her. All of her.

Luffy took a long hard look at what he was seeing. He'd seen plenty of feminine body parts, but never this close. He ran his fingers over the ginger curls that rested right above the glistening lower lips he'd been tasting, and was pleased to find that they were every bit as soft as the hair on Nami's head. His curiosity now fully lit, he ran a finger along the moisture gathered there, and took it into his mouth.

"That's-!" Nami was grimacing.

"It's good," Luffy murmured, releasing the finger from his mouth with a 'pop'. "Not really sweet, but not really sour, either…"

"Ahhh!" His mouth was there again, ravenous, soaking his lips in that wanting wetness.

She bucked her hips without thinking about it, going absolutely crazy at the sight of Luffy doing something so beyond him, and so _well_.

"That spot there, Luffy!" The navigator was lacing her finger's in the captain's black hair, pleading loudly, as he swept at her clitoris before closing lips around it and sucking. Hard. Hard enough that the sensation, much too new and overwhelming, undid her.

Nami cried out in pleasure, and then disbelief as she watched Luffy suckle her all through the length of her climax, pressing a kiss to the spot that left a sinfully wet sound in her ears. He looked up at her and licked the essence of her from his lips, a wily fox licking his chops, dark eyes aglow with animalistic satisfaction.

"That was good, right?" he husked at her with a smile.

"Yes…" she panted, "really amazing, Luffy…"

He lay down beside her, still facing her, and sighed, "Good. Nami… do you think that maybe we could…?"

Her want touched his, and she suddenly felt horrible for letting herself neglect his needs while he'd been so thorough with her own.

She hugged him close, nuzzling her cheek to his chest, and whispered, "Yeah. We can."

Nami willed herself to cast aside her hesitation- she was a grown woman, for crying out loud!- as she very carefully undid Luffy's pants. She could hear his heartbeat gallop while her own sputtered, and then feel the rise of his chest when his breath hitched as she wrapped her fingers around him.

It was… strange, to start. Hot, thick, soft like faux leather, yet hard and stiff as steel . Throbbing in her hand, so warm, and so very alive.

"Naaamii," Luffy whined out, "you can stare at it all day if you want to, but _please_, move your hand a little!"

"Sorry!" She squeaked against him, moving her hand up and down, the way she thought it was supposed to be done. "Is that okay?"

Luffy groaned into her ear, the sound so molten that she could feel herself growing aroused all over again. "That feels nice. But," he grunted as he thrust into her unsure hands, "Hold it a little tighter… Nng…that's so good, Nami…."

It was nothing she'd ever done before, but Nami began to stroke with new vigor. She was determined to bestow mind-numbing pleasure to his body, just as he had done to hers. And she would probably never say so aloud, but doing this to him was… addictive.

She couldn't tear her eyes away from him. Didn't want to.

The way he licked his lips as she ran a thumb over the head of him… then bit his lip as she squeezed from base to tip… that sweet little mewl that burst out of his throat when she let her hand slip lower to fondle what he so proudly referred to as his 'golden balls'…

All of it was seared into her memory, a side of Luffy that she wanted only for herself.

"No one else can ever touch you like this," she breathed possessively, hands at work despite the eager bucking of hips.

He was looking at her with that same muddled expression, and then he was panting out a laugh.

"You really _are_ stupid!"

"What?"

"Nami," he beckoned her face closer to his, "I don't want to touch anyone else but _you_, so why would I ever let anyone else touch me?"

Luffy's simple logic had her feeling, as he'd said, stupid.

Stupid, but overjoyed. Because to anyone else who spoke 'Luffy', what he'd said in so few words was: "I'm yours." And she wanted him just that way, lack of eloquence and all.

"Luffy," she was practically purring as she hitched a leg over his hip and pressed him close to where she wanted him the most. Inside. Possessing her like she wanted to posses him.

"Nami…?"

"You moron… just go…" she panted softly, clutching him tightly, splaying a hand over his heart so that she could feel it beat beneath her palm.

Luffy looked at her and grinned, pressing himself to that ridiculous heat, and thrust inside of her.

She felt pain shoot up her body, a strange tearing that was not as bad as other pains she'd suffered throughout her life, yet was still entirely unique. Luffy was kissing her again, drinking down her cries of discomfort and wiping away the tears that had managed to squeeze through her shut eyes.

When she opened them, the look in Luffy's eyes made her breathless. It was different from what any man had ever shown her, and she couldn't find the words to describe it, but she wanted to gaze at it forever… until she became aware of the sudden heat that was pooling between her thighs.

Oh. Yes. Luffy was…

Luffy was inside of her, and it felt like bliss.

"Nami," his voice was weak, his hips trembling and betraying his desire. "Are you okay?"

"Mmmhm," she muttered warmly, shifting her hips just a little, enough that it made Luffy huff. "Go ahead… I've never been better."

"You sure?"

"I promise."

And he believed her, sliding out of her slowly, and then pressing back into her tight opening again. And again. Over and over, until the friction had Nami clawing at his back and crying his name to the ceiling.

"God, Luffy!"

She was begging him to speed up the pace, willing him to sink in as deep as he could go, trembling for him every time her name left his mouth. It was too much heat, and too much sweat, and too much of an ache in her throat, and a bend of her body that she was sure would be sore later…

But it was Luffy doing it, and she couldn't care less.

She whimpered his name as she felt everything around her become too much, holding onto him, wanting to go on with him forever, but she knew it was impossible. The edge of pleasure he'd shown her before was racking her body…

Close. Closer. Just that bit more, and then-

"Mmnn… NAMI!"

It was her orgasm, but his scream that signaled it, as he slipped out of her convulsing body and she felt wet, thick warmth all over her belly.

His arms were wrapped around her back as he nestled himself to her neck, every shaking breath warming her skin and shifting stray strands of her hair.

"Nami," he said quietly. He sounded sleepy.

"…Yeah…?"

"I'm kinda stupid too…"

"Oh really?"

"Yeah."

"How come?"

He lifted his head just a little, and tired as it was, there was that telltale grin on his face.

"I forgot to say it, that's why," he was laughing at himself.

Nami nuzzled the top of his head, "Say what, moron?"

"Love you."

* * *

I'm done... *keels over*

Hope you enjoyed ;)


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